The Walking Dead — Issue 43
I was walking down my street and - you know those abrupt violin crescendos just kind of explode and then quickly cease? that happen right as the audience can see and know something terrifying is about to happen? - that played out of seemingly nowhere. a sound that genuinely must have been multiple violins playing somewhere behind the trees in my neighbourhood somewhere. I just kind of froze and waited for something to happen. I looked around even. nothing else happened - I couldn’t even hear any other noise besides suburb ambience, really. I don’t even really know what else to say about it or explain it or to really convey the absurdity of it in an appropriate way. it was just fucking weird.
man so a day ago I went from work down to the shopping center to get some food, and I only had about thirty minutes, right? on my way back I run into this dude on the bike path and he stops and is like “hey, do you work there?” and I’ve got this giant black apron with the logo for my work on it, and I’m like “yeh” and he says he used to work there and do exactly what I’m doing like five years ago. at this point I guess something clicked over in the back of my head because I just feel like he looks really familiar. he confirms he used to go to my high school when I asked him about it, and he asked my name, and he didn’t know me, and then he says his name and I’m like :”FUCK!” because I knew his name and I guess I’ve obviously seen his picture a few times somewhere. he was in the class of drama and theater that graduated the year before I was a freshman and I’d just repeatedly heard his name here and there, among others, before anyone who could remember graduated. I don’t know how your drama class in your high schools of the world are but ours like talking all the time about our old alumni so much because basically that department got shittier and shittier up to and past the time I graduated. so this was a vaguely big deal if just a random event.
it was just the fact that if I hadn’t had a break from work in these exact thirty minutes and I hadn’t left at that exact window of time and came and gone as fast as I did - and if I didn’t work there at all - we would have walked straight past each other and never known we had any connection, however pointless and abstract, to each other in any number of degrees. like everything lined up for this random little conversation with a dude I’ll most likely never see again in my lifetime (although this town manages to continuously surprise me.). y’know what I mean? just the astronomical chances, even if increased by our relative hometowns, of this event happening and the thinning of those chances by the different factors in bringing about said coincidence I gah fuck. the world is too small. probability is just crazy.
man I turned a wannabe current event post into some kind of weird rant on society.
paul walker movies you should never forget:
- the lazarus project
- the fast and furious
and frankly people give timeline too much shit because it was a pretty rad little sci-fi gem. noel is good for christmas time and I don’t know why I am even trying to make a memorial post that excludes any of an actor’s films, but despite however genuine anyone is or isn’t (like it matters) about how much they did or didn’t care about paul walker and the fact that I’ve never even really liked fast and furious, honestly, the first couple films on that list are actually among some of my favorite films of the last decade. I’ve seen the lazarus project a few times - and it’s even on netflix now - because it’s one of those good slow-burn movies with a lot to absorb in multiple watches and paul walker was in the center moving it along. I think I wanted to make a reflection about him because he’s not one of those actors I universally admire and follow their work all the time but, you know, damn, Paul Walker’s dead? I guess it happens, too-young actors and entertainers dying too early for whatever reason - brittany murphy, heath ledger, amy winehouse, and weirdly enough lou reed and roger ebert passed this year and this has kind of been a year of celebrity deaths that, what? - is more personal to me? I guess I’m just more familiar with these people and brittany murphy, and even heath ledger’s presence was just kind of tangential until their death and like often happens (and is probably about to) everybody suddenly appreciates them after their death (though my dick if that makes them less important, the joker was stunning and murphy was in a movie called neverwas and spun. go dig them.).
I don’t really know what I’m saying. the idea of being a celebrity and then someone who may range from b-list to a-list to low-budget to household names - just that people around your country and probably around the world are flooding news networks with memorials about you and posting facebook statuses about how great you are and you’ve never met them more than them watching you pretend to be someone else on a television screen. death is weird. life is weird. celebrity is weird. go watch some paul walker movies. I’ll probably rewatch lazarus project and noel just for you, paul.
I need a hug or an orgasm.– (via deindealer)
sometimes I like to use tumblr to pretend that I actually think anyone anywhere on the internet actually gives a damn about what I think or have to say.
honestly just straight-up ritzy bryan appreciation rebloggery.
I don’t really understand how some people aren’t going completely insane.
I just had this really incomprehensible conversation with my mom at a taco bell drive-thru about her inability to really effectively read their big menu at the order screen. she just said it was confusing and even though I just pointed at the fucking doritos tacos she could just unexplainably not find it and I had to focus my misplaced rage at the poor minimum-wage worker who was unfortunate enough to be on the headset that night. this is the latest in an epidemic of my mother continuously being completely unable to routinely order anything through a drive-thru. do older people just have that much of an issue adapting to inventions as simple as the modern drive-thru? is it even that simple?
I mean, she’s right, it’s a bunch of stuff lit up on a board - it looks like it’s supposed to be organized but people like me don’t think about it, it’s just “look for the shit you want to order and order it.” I don’t think it’s really ever actually organized either, it’s just designed to draw your eye to this before that. the main combos are up front and center and there are differences of varying subtlety to draw you to limited time items and then sides or maybe to guide you to make sure you don’t look at desserts until last or fuck if I know. they are for all intents and purposes something that should easily be confusing but for us it just isn’t. you just look at it, and we all know how all drive-thru menus at every specific fast food joint should look like. why is it so easy? my mom can’t do it. I bet your mom can’t do it. that wasn’t even a set-up for a joke, I’ve witnessed and I’m sure there are many others who have witnessed the fact that generations far enough before us unexplainably become fucking morons when you go through a typical sonic drive-thru window.
this has been a giant metaphor for a discussion of the human ability or inability to adapt to technological invention with a side-plot of me wanting to rant about how my mother continues to remind me why I don’t often want to be with her (and often most of the rest of my family) in public. like ever.
do I just over-think about things or do so many people just glaze over all the absurd things they can’t wrap their minds around in life? whether it’s the realistic state of human misery or the complete inability to ever understand a fucking neon sign in a mcdonald’s drive-thru, how do people just not care about it? sometimes I think if, and when, I’m in my mom’s shoes, I’m going to be forced into deep, inconsolable depression. the idea of being unable to consciously keep up with society terrifies me. social media is already changing and integrating itself deeply into culture in ways that kind of overwhelm me sometimes. even the most open-minded, worldy, hippie-life individual’s original thoughts are just another facebook status. unconditional anonymity because their thoughts on existentialism have the exact same font as the professions of drunken promiscuity a few scrolls of the mouse below.
people like my mother have, not such “antiquated” ways of dealing with things, just a complete inability to adapt to so much and in turn to emotionally respond in ways that seem rational or constructive. things just are the way they are. is that healthier or un-healthier than what crazy fucks like me do? questioning things for what seems like nothing other than the sake of questioning them. maybe I’m just making myself sound arrogant. I don’t really see myself as any more introspective than anyone else - I meant that personally, I’m just more lines of text on a site full of wannabe philosophers - though sometimes I actually wonder if the frequency of individual and introspective and actual existential thinking is a phenomenon that is only recently becoming a commonly-desired and experienced thing.
like life is fucked up. things are fucked up. unignorably absurd things are happening to you and being practiced by you and everyone you know every single day. the world is changing and adapting and, unless the information age is changing us enough, we are going to be left behind like our bumbling parents in the taco bell drive-thru’s of the earth.
you know this probably undermines my last post about kind of criticizing the nature and the design of the plot of thor 2, but I also got to say the inter-play between thor and loki was kind of awesome, and some people may think I’m just uncreative but the whole “fake-out” scene when loki and thor first go to the dark world to fight the dark elves, just about every little thing about it - I genuinely did not expect that. I suppose if you’ve seen it then you know what I’m talking about but there it is in the vague-est, least spoiler-y-est way possible.
thor: the dark world which I might probably going to refer to lazily as thor 2 from this point on, was pretty good. hell, it blew the lame-ass first movie out of the water, definitely, anyway.
I personally still kind of hate thor, as a character, period, because his existence just bothers me. I’m not really a marvel or dc comics or any-comic-books-of-any-kind buff, though I manage to pick up a lot of mythology through whatever source (tumblr probably being a big one.), but in the universe as a whole thor’s really never felt like it fit. it was probably a cool idea however many decades ago they came up with the idea, and then as the stories got more modern they just didn’t have the heart to cut the poor god out. he definitely serves his purpose. though while one of my complaints is while they’ve spent time creating new arcs and concepts and ideas for the other heroes thor is still just a sci-fi retelling of the norse mythology. which would be really shallow to call unoriginal, especially since admittedly that universe has become this unrecognizable different thing with its own voice - just the point of this run-on is that’s what annoys me about it. they’ve definitely written him an increasingly important role as a character in the avengers franchise. he still gives me this consistent “why are you here?” vibe that I can’t help but the importance and effectiveness of some of his interactions in the avengers film world are undeniable, and the absence of them would take away that much more. speaking beyond plot, since the plot of the first avengers film would never even have happened without his slice of the story existing.
but that’s just it, and it’s the heart of what bothers me - if thor hadn’t come from marvel comics, I feel like this entire movie would be utter insanity. the movie kind of functions as an epic sci-fi movie all on its own, to the point where if they quit mentioning s.h.i.e.l.d. every ten minutes and I didn’t know much about thor I could have forgotten it had anything to do with marvel. in fact his excursions to earth only happen because he exists in the marvel universe and actually kind of take away from the crazy scale of the other world - like I wish they didn’t even happen, because the whole jane being possessed by the aether (no, I have no idea if that is based off some comic-universe plot device.) thing was just dumb and pointless. other than their love thing going on, she’s really pointless otherwise and it feels like the aether is just an excuse to make her actually important. if you took out earth’s involvement, the dark world draws you in with the beautiful other ‘verse all by itself. this coupled with fucking masterful cgi (I don’t remember the last time I actually had to remind myself that ninety-percent of this movie wasn’t a real place or thing. hello, brand new shiny disney-level budget.). but then there’s that thing that bothers me again.
it’s cool because it’s marvel. it’s cool because it’s avengers. if you took that all away, and took away a legion of fans who know what his destiny and his story are long before they see the movie I feel like thor would feel like it’s absolutely insane - maybe it would still be cool. but the familiarity is the only reason I think a lot of it doesn’t feel absurd or contrived. you can’t stop the directing being good, or the fight scenes being badass, or the computer imagery being flawless - but even a fair dude like myself who definitely digs the avengers and what the marvel film overlords are doing with it, a lot - that’s the point, that stuff is what draws me in. the plot isn’t really weak. it’s this crazy sci-fi meets mythology stuff but nobody really acts unrealistic and the flow from scene-to-scene is pretty okay, all perspective on which deserves to be based on the fact that if you judge it outside of marvel it is just a crazy sci-fi adventure and should be judged as such - but the plot is never what I enjoyed. it was just the badassery and the sheer beauty of the movie. I don’t know. this is a really shitty complaint and I’m not even sure what I’m complaining about because you can’t really make thor into anything else more than has already been done if you want it to be, you know, thor.
I don’t know if this is more a review or a critique more than some weird organization of my thoughts about a movie. I wanted to start putting down my thoughts and giving my two cents about some of the movies I get to see is another decent place to start. this was all pretty stream-of-consciousness. thor: the dark world was badass as shit, and everything in it was cool as shit, but I know I’m going to remember it more for the effects and the insane, inter-dimensional climax fight scenes than for being, you know, thor.
what did I tag that last wanderlust post as that got it so many notes
why have I gained so many followers I haven’t posted for weeks.
this is relevant to my interests.
that was my idea of a comeback.
I want to start talking about real things. chronicling my life but trying to put to words real insight and expanding on more abstract thoughts. I don’t know. I want this blog to have a place among all the other stupid social media I indulge in as I make deliberate attempts to up my social media presence. I guess I want to build something that isn’t just another typical tumblr by mainly making it my blog. I guess I’ve been doing that all along, I’m just going to start pretending I have some massive, encompassing purpose now. which is pretty much an obsession with putting my thoughts in words for the public to see somewhere, which social media has seen fit to supply any method I wish to use to do so. basically everything that’s too long for twitter will go here and I’m pretty sure everything that’s too short will go on twitter. that’s a wonderfully less impressive way of putting it. this is stupid and I’m just trying to produce posts with something worth reading and I imagine it’s going about as well as expected.